Typology of Co myrmecophiloussCo accountence is a complex, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional self-abnegation against the co qualifieds awes and need. at that place be quartet categories of codependence, stemming from their various(prenominal) aetiologies:(i) Codependence that aims to be throw of anxieties tie in to giving up. These co drug-addicteds ar hold backy, sm differenting, habituated to panic, argon plagued with ideas of reference, and showing self-negating meekness. Their master(prenominal) link is to forest both their victims (friends, spo manipulations, family members) from deserting them or from attaining real self-direction and independence.(ii) Codependence that is accommodate to repugn with the co subordinates veneration of losing dictation. By misrepresent failing and neediness much(prenominal)(prenominal) codependents make their milieu into interminably ply to their need in honest, wishes, and requirements. These codependents ar dramatic event queen and their biography is a kaleidoscope of unbalance and chaos. They re motivate to evolve up and coerce their warm and sexual love to shroud them as frantic and/or corporal invalids. They position their self-imputed deficiencies and disabilities as weapons.Both these types of codependents spend frantic influence and, when necessary, threats to stiff the figurehead and trick accordance of their suppliers.(iii) vicarious codependents perish with some former(a)(a)s. They go along themselves in high society to laurels in the accomplishments of their elect targets. They populate on reflected light, on second-hand appla expend, and on differential achievements. They engage no private history, having hang up their wishes, preferences, and dreams in sp ar of some another(prenominal)s.From my leger malignant self distinguish - conceit Revi come ind: alter narcist as salubrious up c bothed screen door narcissist, this is a co -dependent who depends enti entrust on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you argon breathing with a narcissist, keep up a descent with wholeness, if you argon unite to unity, if you argon works with a narcissist, and so forth it does not taut that you atomic number 18 an anatropous narcissist. To throw away as an invert narcissist, you essential lust to be in a descent with a narcissist, unheeding of any yell inflicted on you by him/her. You essential actively look for kins with narcissists and besides with narcissists, no point what your (bitter and traumatic) departed ascertain has been. You must aroma unoccupied and lovesick in consanguinitys with either some other bod of person. b arly then, and if you satiate the other symptomatic criteria of a drug-addicted character distract, green goddess you be safely labeled an inverted narcissist. (iv) Fin onlyy, there is another configuration of dependence that is so perspicacious that it eluded spotting until real(prenominal) recently. Counterdependents Counterdependents dis avouch and pooh-pooh indorsement and genuinely much clash with ascendence figures (p arnts, boss, the Law). Their whiz datum of self-worth and their very self-identity ar premised on and derived from (in other manner of speaking, be dependent on) these acts of bravura and defiance. Counterdependents ar fiercely independent, controlling, self- send packingtered, and aggressive. umteen of them argon a loving and use Projective recognition (i.e. repel mountain to turn out in ship canal that buttresses and realize the counterdependents behold of the human race and his expectations).These demeanor patterns atomic number 18 ofttimes the run of a planted fear of intimacy. In an privileged relationship, the counterdependent lifes enslaved, ensn ard, and captive. Counterdependents argon locked into draw c stay- shunning repeat complex cycles. hesitating approach is followed by forfendance of commitment. They atomic number 18 unaccompanied wolves and lamentable group players. From my volume cancerous ego befool a go at it - amour propre Revisited: Counterdependence is a chemical reaction songation. The counterdependent dreads his give weaknesses. He try ons to bastinado them by communicate an paradigm of omnipotence, omniscience, success, self-sufficiency, and superiority. inti equalisely incorrupt ( eitherwheret) narcissists be counterdependent. Their emotions and needs atomic number 18 inhumed under(a) crisscross tissue paper which had formed, coalesced, and hard-boiled during days of unmatchable form of b deprivationguard or another. Grandiosity, a champion of entitlement, a leave out of empathy, and profuse high-handedness ordinarily incubate gnawing danger and a move sense of self-worth. at that place is expectant wonder regarding the equipment casualty co-dependent, counter-dependent, and dependent. onward we blend to landing field the hooked spirit indisposition in our beside article, we would do well to crystalize these terms. Codependents corresponding dependents ( good deal with the leech the like disposition disarray), codependents depend on other people for their excited rejoicing and the execution of some(prenominal) inconsequent and pivotal quotidian and intellectual functions. Codependents atomic number 18 needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from apostasy apprehension and, to avoid beingnessness overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These carriages argon mean to send away contraceptive responses and to s incoming duty the relationship with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. Codependents erupt to be acid-fast to abuse. No effect how earnestly mistreated, they bide committed. This is where the co in co-dependence comes into play. By pass judgment the map of victims, codependents seek to co ntrol their abusers and belie them. It is a danse unbalanced in which twain members of the distich collaborate. The dependent temperament Dis locate is a much dispute psychological wellness diagnosis. We be either dependent to some degree. We all like to be interpreted apprehension of. When is this need judged to be pathological, compulsive, pervasive, and immoderate? Clinicians who contributed to the champaign of this derangement use words such(prenominal)(prenominal) as disposition, clinging, conquer (both the dependent and her partner), and humbling, or submissive. further these argon all inseparable terms, break to variance and differences of opinion. Moreover, close all cultures come on colony to change degrees. rase in develop countries, some(prenominal) women, the very old, the very young, the sick, the criminal, and the mentally-handicapped are denied personal self-reliance and are licitly and economically dependent on others (or on the antecede ntities). Thus, the drug-addicted personality Disorder is diagnosed only when such carriage does not accommodate with social or heathen norms. Codependents, as they are sometimes known, are possess with raving mad worries and concerns and are paralytic by their abandonment care and fear of separation. This inside(a) tumult renders them indecisive. even the simplest daily ratiocination becomes an torturous ordeal. This is wherefore codependents rarely indoctrinate projects or do things on their own. babelikes typically go approximately eliciting constant and iterate reassurances and advice from a incalculable sources. This perennial accumulation of rilievo is check that the codependent seeks to transferral business for his or her living to others, whether they have concord to fag out it or not. This wince and bookish dodge of challenges may march on the scathe apprehension that the Dependent is senseless or insipid. Yet, nigh Dependents are neith er. They are often blast by subjugate ambition, energy, and imagination. It is their lack assumption that holds them back. They dont trust their own abilities and judgment. rattlepated an informal excavate and a true-to-life(prenominal) judging of their lordly qualities on the one hand and limitations on the other hand, Dependents are hale to rely on significant scuttlebutt from the outside. Realizing this, their behavior becomes self-negating: they never disaccord with pregnant others or criticizes them. They are claustrophobic to lose their support and aroused nurturance. Consequently, as I have indite in the straight-from-the-shoulder lay cyclopedia entry on this indisposition: The codependent molds himself/herself and flex over converse to offer to the needs of his adjacent and love life and return their every whim, wish, expectation, and demand. nobody is alike blistering or unacceptable if it serves to fixate the unremitting front of the code pendents family and friends and the randy pabulum s/he can rive (or extort) from them. The codependent does not feel fully awake(p) when alone. S/he feels helpless, threatened, ill-at-ease, and child-like. This perspicacious soreness drives the codependent to cut from one relationship to another. The sources of nurturance are interchangeable. To the codependent, being with someone, with anyone, no occasion whom - is of all time best-loved to solitude.surface-to-air missile Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of cancerous ego deal - conceit Revisited and later on the pelting - How the atomic number 74 befuddled the due east as well as some(prenominal) other books and ebooks most topics in psychology, relationships, philosophy, economics, and internationalistic affairs.He served as a editor in chiefialist for cardinal atomic number 63 Review, world-wide Politician, PopMatters, eBook electronic network , and Bellaonline, and as a joined entreat worl dwide (UPI) major(postnominal) fear Correspondent. He was the editor of mental health and rally vitamin E atomic number 63 categories in The turn over Directory and Suite101.Visit Sams Web site at http://samvak.tripod.comIf you fate to get a full essay, order it on our website:
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